Steel Sharpens Steel

Greetings purveyors. Thank you for the well wishes and inquiries. I have been well for the most part, so fear not, your Champion has not forsaken you or fallen off the face of the earth. Because of your concern, I am going to devote my next few entries to you, the readers. I often say that steel sharpens steel as a way of noting how we must keep each other sharp. This comes in many forms. Sometimes we keep those around us sharp in the form of dialogue and sometimes we keep each other sharp in the form of sharing life's experiences. I'm going to do a bit of both over the next few weeks in this space, thus I will insist that you leave commentary here so that everyone may benefit. Please direct all inquires, advice needs or general topics on which you would like The Champ to wax poetic to: harlemslim@gmail.com.

Today’s piff comes courtesy of reader LKN4LUV25*. LKN4LUV25 says: “Son, yous a funny dude, but you be dropping the real too. Lemme ax you dis though, you seem like a cat that steps to mad honeys and keeps it thorough, what can a playa like myself do? It’s getting cold and I need me a cuddle bunny for the winter, it just seems like I keep coming across these bussdowns. What can I do to find a “quality bunny” (as you would say) to hold me down while it’s cold?? [Sic]

Well, LKN4LUV25, you are in luck. I’m going to drop some jewels on you that should make your search a little easier. First off, you are a little behind the 8-ball here, but don’t be discouraged. The winter cuddle-buddy search should have started around Labor Day, and ended no later than October 15. There are still prime prospects abound and if your game (and my tutelage) is that tight, you can find your very own quality bunny or take someone else’s bunny.**

First, it is necessary to recognize what it is that you don’t want so that you don’t waste valuable time and energy that should be spent attaining what you do want. In order to properly assess whether or not you are indeed dealing with a bussdown, I have created an inventory that will help expose the bussdowns of the world. It is important to realize that people act differently at different stages of their life. Because a woman could answer yes to many or all of these questions over the span of her life, does not mean that she is now a bussdown, she’s just engaged in bussdown activity. It happens to the best of us and is a part of our growth. Here is The Champ’s Bussdown Inventory:

Ladies, are you a Bussdown? Answer a few questions, let's find out.
1.) Have ever or do you currently, consistently give it up on the first date/meeting?
2.) Have you ever consistently slept with a Dude without ever seeing the inside of his house, his house during daylight hours, or ridden in his car?
3.) Have you ever slept with a semi-pro ball player and/or a rapper without a record deal because you saw them as a celebrity?
4.) Have you ever met any of your man's friends or family?
5.) Have you ever been referred to as Hoover or Oreck?
6.) True or False: Taking it in my eye is disrespectful.
7.) Have you ever been given bus/train fare by a man you've slept with instead of him driving you home or him providing cab fare?
8.) Have you ever walked in through the front door of the home of the man with whom you’re sleeping?
9.) Has a man ever had sex with you while he was smoking a Black & Mild, watching the game, playing Playstation, talking on the phone, drinking a beer, or two-waying someone?
10.) Has a man given you his cell or pager number only, even though you know he has a home phone?
11.) Do you talk to a man's voicemail more than you talk to him?
12.) Do you consider a 2:00am romp followed by a prompt exit a date?
13.) Has a man ever offered you hard dick and bubblegum?
14.) Did you accept?
15.) When you go to the club, can you count more than 5 men you've slept with there?
16.) Do these questions offend you?

If you answered yes to 4 or more of these questions, or yes to number 16, and regularly engage in these activities, you are indeed a bussdown.

This inventory, like most questionnaires, only works when the subject is being honest. I’m not saying that bussdows aren’t honest, but in the initial stages of all interactions everyone puts on their best face. You still need to be on the look out for bussdowns that are good at hiding the fact that they are indeed bussdowns. A good test is the book or video store. If a bunny vehemently resist a trip to a bookstore like its kryptonite or once in the bookstore attempts to buy anything by Zane or complains that the books are not good like “the ones on the table on the corner”, she’s probably a bussdown. If you are in the video store and the bunny reaches for BAPS, Phat Beach or anything starring Master P, chances are, you are dealing with a bussdown.


Now that we have identified what it is that you don’t want, it is up you to go after what you do want. Quality is subjective, thus I can not define that for you, what I will do is offer some of The Champ’s surefire tips at attaining that quality bunny. Keep these things in mind, and you are all set:

1) Be yourself – If you’re shy, be shy. If you’re rowdy, be rowdy. Women have better bullshit detectors than they even realize. They can tell if you are not being authentic and will let you know in the form of rejection. Besides, you can only keep up a charade for but so long and when you get found out, you will be labeled the bussdown. Acting while macking always ends badly, don’t do it. The obvious exception here is that if you are an utterly unlikable schmuck, you should get a new personality altogether.

2) Be Confident – If you want a woman to realize that you are the shit, you have to be the shit. Women dig confidence.

3) Pose to be Chose – The perfect woman is not going to knock on your door looking for you. You have to be out and about to meet people. This does not mean that you should scour nightclubs like some sort of savage (I don’t believe nightclubs are good places to meet people. The whole situation reeks of falsehoods. This isn’t the worst place to meet women, but far from the best) but go places of your interest. I’ve had quite the success in bookstores and museums in a variety of cities. I hear that video stores are good places as well. It is also necessary to make sure that you are not putting the full court press on too soon. That will also get you a restraining order. Once you put it out there that you are interested, fall back and see if the interest is mutual, if it is, cool, make it happen. If not, bail and keep it moving.

4) Keep It Simple Stupid – The KISS rule, it never fails. This is somewhat of an extension of Rule 1. You’d be surprised how often “Hi I’m *insert name here* and I wanted to meet you.” works. Walking up to a woman talking about the sun, the moon and the stars will get you a funny look and possibly a restraining order. (There are always exceptions to this rule and if you are approaching a Freddy Brooks type, the sun, moon and stars may serve you well.)

5) Always Qualify Females Before Approaching – The great and honorable Malcolm X once said “You won’t get far in a Chinese restaurant talking German.” This goes the same with women. You can’t spit Grade A game, to a Grade D Bussdown. It won’t get you far. At the same time, spitting that weak shit that you would spit at some chicken that you are trying to take home and wear out, will not work on a quality woman. Be observant and be discerning.

These 5 rules are just the tip of the iceberg as I can’t give you too much, since you won’t buy the book or respect the game if I do. These rules will take you far, so heed them. I hope this was helpful to you LKN4LUV25 and anyone else that took the time to read this. I’m here to help.



*Name changed to protect privacy.
**We here at Extraflavory.blogspot.com do not condone the stealing of anyone’s bunny, however, if you mack a bunny and she does not identify herself as someone else’s, it wasn’t that real to her in the first place. Sorry.