Medley

Kinda like the Jeopardy! “Potpourri” category, only these are blogs that were scrapped or became miniscule once they were sanitized. Yes, I have to sanitize blogs every now and then. While *I* have no shame, I can't say the same for some of the people in my life. I can say even less for their spouses or (in)significant others. Without further delay I present to you:

Since I've Been Here, I've Had More White Poon Thrown at me Than Matt Leinart and Adam Levine Combined

As I have noted in this space before, I swear that they just discovered miscegenation in this city. I don't know whether its opportunity, locale, or the vibe I'm giving off or a combination of all of the above. What ever it is, the Becky’s have been getting at the boy in record number. This hasn't happened since I left boarding school. It almost hurt to tell the one Becky that she was barking up the wrong tree the other night. She spent good money on all of that alcohol for me and my associates. Oh well, I'll chalk that one up to a minor victory for men of all races that have spent heavily on women to come up empty handed. I don't support that level of simpin', but it's kinda fucked. I will say, Becky’s have pretty similar game. Maybe it's the region, but how many times can I hear "Do you want to come to my place" to a) "watch the game"; b) "listen to the new Kanye CD"; or c) "see the pictures that me and my friends took in *insert tropical island here*". Some of you will be disgusted that I never attempted to play in the snow. Some of you will applaud that decision. Some of you were direct beneficiaries of said decisions.


Doing The "Right" Thing Should Not Be This Hard


That is, if this is indeed the right thing. I'm a man of principle. It's one of the many reasons that people love and hate me. I pride myself on this. I've never claimed to be ethical by most definitions of the word, it's damn near impossible since I do not subscribe to any of the belief systems that shape many of out society’s "ethics". I do have my own code, and one of said tenets is that I (The Champ) shall not hump anyone younger than That Partially Puerto Rican Yellow Bunny (f.k.a The Champ's Younger Sister). It just seems wrong to do, but this bunny is legal. Her matriculation and major suggest that she has some level of maturity. Her taste in music is more than acceptable and the feel of those luscious breasts pressed into my back as she sang with Dwele word for word was amazing to say the least. I can't knock her determination, not only because she's pursuing The Champ, but I remember when a younger version of The Champ that told many an older woman "Sure I'm "only" XX years old, but I have a really strong back!!!". I meant it when I told her "What I look like coming back to your dorm room, watching your 13 inch TV trying to hump on your twin bed? Humpin' on twin beds was uncomfortable when I slept on one nightly!?!?!?!", but damn if it's not a hell of a thought. In a few days our ages won't even start with the same number anymore, so this has to be bad, right? Decisions, decisons, decisions.


Now I Was Taught Back On My Block


That you don't ride on nobody's jock
For anything they do
Fuck him and his crew
Unless you were gettin paid too
I'm not saying this to dis each and every fan
Women you can ride but man be a man
Shake my hand and make it a firm shake
Say what's up Ice Cube and then break
Cause if you're hangin there
I'm a tell you loud and clear
Get off my dick n*&&a and tell your bitch to come here

That great Negro thinker of our time, O'Shea Jackson was years ahead of his time with this classic verse. There are few things more pathetic than male groupies. What makes one a groupie?? The Miriam Webster denotation of the term states: an admirer of a celebrity who attends as many of his or her public appearances as possible. The popular connotation would describe a groupie as a lifeless individual that latches onto an ideal in the form of a person and annoys the life out of one in a nightclub on any given night all whilst throwing their dignity away. Peep what happened to me at Sonotheque the other night.

*** (Ed. Note: I HAD to strip this down, it was kinda disgusting and some cards were pulled. Because this world gets one degree smaller everyday, I'm not going to pull too many cards here. I think the text that I have allowed to remain will give the gist of the evening. I hope that I don’t lose you with the math)

Me + The Cat I was kickin it with + a few drinks + Some dude(-dignity*pride) + his slightly below average bunny + his slightly below average bunny recklessly eyeballing The Champ + dude being able to tell me the last 4 spots I had been and what I was wearing and some details about bunnies on which the Champ had macked = The Champ seriously considering a restraining order!

I'm Going To Need Some Serious Bail If This Bitch Ask Me 'How's It Going' One More Time

Am I the only person that utterly despises passive aggressive behavior used for the purposes of micro-management. Passive-aggressive behavior is bad enough by itself, but when you are the "manager" and don’t have the balls to say what’s on your mind, there are real problems. I don't feel that you have to be combative, but there is a lot of distance between direct and combative. If this is what the culture of this place is going to be like, it's time to spark those resumes up once again. I really do love New York and New Yorkers! F the Midwest!!!!!


It Might Not Be Such a Bad Idea If I Never, Ever Go Home Again

Sitting here on this rainy Sunday looking out at the southern portion of Chi City puts me in a pensive mood. I’ve got history here. It was 1990 when I first happened upon this city. For the first half of spring break I’d come home with The Halfrican* (*not to be confused with The Evil Halfrican with whom I’ve been friends since 7th grade) so I can see what all his ranting and raving was about. He loved his city, and thought that everyone else should, too. I’d never been this far from home, so I was excited and nervous all at the same time. I thought it was some absolute bullshit that I couldn’t wear certain colors or cock my hat a certain way, but that’s because the gang culture that had swept much of black America at this time had not permeated the streets of New York. I could barely understand some of these folks’ thick country accents, or weird words they choose to use. Number one on that list was why they kept calling soda, “pop”?? Despite these differences, I too developed a love for Chi City.

***

Yeah, I’ve had some good moments here. From that first day in 1990 to job interviews in 1997 to my visit with King Slick in 1999 (a whole entry in itself) to the last 2 months. I’ve got cats here that I consider fam. I’ve had some highs and lows. Chicago was on that short list of possible relocation cities that I had at the beginning of the year and having had this experience has endeared the city to me that much more. One day I will get over The Hawk and brave the winter months. That time is not now. I’m going home!

LGOTH


I get the boosters boosting, I get computers puting
Y'all get shot at, call me, I do the shooting
I do the recruiting, I tutor the students
I nurture they brain, I'm moving the movement

Please believe that The Champ is coming home and ready to move the movement this fall!!!! Head for the hills and hide your bunnies!!!